


The lion's mistress

by delusaedisillusa



Series: ...and choke the life from you [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity, Prostitution, Punishment, Rape, Sibling Incest, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:25:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5322131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delusaedisillusa/pseuds/delusaedisillusa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A gift, she was supposed to be just a gift</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The bidding

**Author's Note:**

> Brace yourselves, my English sucks

Cersei Waters was teen and four and already one of the star of the brothel.  
An admirable assessment considering the girl was still a maid.  
She was born in one of the brothel in King's Landing, her mother had been a lysenian whore and a mute. Beautiful and mute, a dream that came true, the customers would often said.  
Her mother had had long white blond hair, aquamarine eyes, soft fair skin.  
Cersei had inherit the fair skin of her mother, but her hair had a richer golden color and her eyes a beautiful light green.  
At her birth her mother colleague had wanted to name her Cat, because of her feline eyes, but the mother shook her head and after standing and taking paper and ink, something no other whore in the brothel had ever possessed, she wrote something.  
A customer solved the mystery he read aloud for all to hear “Her name is Cersei, she is a cat of a different coat” she didn’t wrote nothing more and didn’t give any more explanation, she took the paper and ripped it.  
Lyssy , no one knew her real name, she never bothered to write it down, didn’t give her daughter away, she paid so her little girl could live with her, she didn’t took the offer of other brothel owner for “baby-whores”, her daughter would live there and later she would have a dowry and marry a rich merchant.  
Lyssy had been a pretty girl, but Cersei had the stuff for becoming a stunning beauty.  
Cersei was a willful and proud little brat, she lived in the brothel with fifteen other “mothers” that she alternating loved and hated.  
Lyssy died as Cersei was ten and two, she drank barrels of waters, but nothing could still her thirst. She ate but she emaciated to the bones. She went sleeping and didn’t wake up anymore.  
After her mother’s death, the room that had always been her home, went to another girl. Cersei had to sleep in her mother’s colleagues rooms or when occupied, in the kitchen.  
Before even flowering Cersei started to work.  
She didn’t sleep with the customers yet, “No younger than five and teen, no older than thirty” was the brothel owner, the Madame, devise. Cersei used her mouth and hands for “reliving” her guests.  
Her beauty and her skills convinced the owner to keep her, -for the soul of her dear mother- she often say, when asked how little Cersei could maintain her virtue. In true little Cersei was a magnet, many of the customers paid a pretty penny for Cersei mouth and hands, the madame was sure to sell her virginity for an elusive price.  
She didn’t want to lose a girl this beautiful, she thought it was a pity that Lyssy had ruined the girl putting in her head she was something better, but this was one of Cersei charme, and there were enough men happy to break her pride and confidence.  
Three years passed by. The list of guests wanting to be “first” was very long. Cersei’s maidenhead would be selled three moons turn after her teen and five namesday, there would be a Tourney and many noble customers would be in Kingslanding.  
Lyssy had tried to teach Cersei how to write and read, unsuccessful, but Cersei had a talent for the count.  
A week before her “debut” she had a talk with the Madame, about her debts.  
“How much!?”  
“Well you were born here”  
“My mother paid for me, I’ve the papers”  
“She paid till her death. Three years, the cost since then”  
“Costs? I had no room, I slept in the kitchen! You fed me barely enough. That’s all!”  
“The clothes?”  
“The used one from the girl”  
“Three years. Eating, living, sleeping.”  
“I’ve worked for three years!”  
“You are a maid…”  
“You know what I did and I never saw any money! Don’t think I’m dumb!”  
After a little debating they settle for a sum, a sum that drained the life out of Cersei.  
How many men should she give pleasure?  
How many years of fake smiles?  
She was something better, she knew this. With her beauty and her brain, she wouldn’t be just a whore, she would own the place. No smallfolk or rich merchant for her, she would have a highborn lover or two and be rich and envied.  
But first she had to pay her debt, she hoped her maidenhead would be rich sold.  
The day of her debut, had been a sunny day before the jousting.  
The madame was happy with her. In a silken gown of light green, Cersei was fresh and clean like nothing in the rotting Kings Landing.  
Wine, food, laughter streamed through the brothel. Cersei had been proud of herself, as she looked at the many nobles she had bewitched in this three years.  
She knew she was successful, she hadn’t slept with anyone, but she had a room for herself, thanks to some generous visitors she had some lovely gowns  
Most of her guests were there, a lot of nobility.

-They all want me - she thought a little bit scared, but pleased -They want your cunt. They want your blood and pain- whispered a voice in her head  
-I’m like a queen, courted by many nobles- -You are more like a slave to be sold- continued the irritating voice. She hated the voice, she wanted to make her weak, to make her cringe. She ignored as much as she could. She had other more pressing stuff to think about.  
Who would bid more? She had been born in a whorenhouse, she fellated men since her two and one, namesday, she wasn’t an innocent maid, had never been, she knew everything a man could do to a woman. But she was different, wasn’t she? She wouldn’t have been sold like an animal, she chose to fuck the most rich one.  
The voice inside her head started to laugh...she choose not to hear anymore.  
“Well little bitch, today you are the Queen of whores” shouted Lea across the room, she couldn’t stand the red haired slut, sometimes she longed to slap her hard.  
“Our beautiful Cersei will soon be a woman” murmured Dana, one of the few girl Cersei could stand.  
If she had to be a whore, than a queenly one.  
Like that she was sold to a sum no one could have imagined to gain.


	2. A present for Ser Jaime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had been taught to give pleasure.   
> She wasn’t expecting to get any.

A present for Ser Jaime

 

She still couldn't believe it.  
She must had been the best paid whore in King’s Landing!  
Ser Gerion Lannister had bought her for a whole week.  
A Lannister!  
One of the richest, or maybe even the richest, family in the Seven Kingdoms! A brother of the King’s hand.   
She hadn’t had any Lannister before, rumors said that Tywin Lannister loathed whores, the only things she knew about the Lannisters were that they were fair haired, they never laughed,that her words were “hear me roar” and the unofficial was ‘a Lannister pay his debt’ and that they swam in gold.   
Gerion Lannister was young, he was good looking...he was rich!  
She could consider herself fortunate.

“Mylord...”  
“Mylord is my brother, sweetling” interrupted her with a laugh, the things about Lannister never laughing was a lie.  
“Ser Lannister…” she tried again  
“Gerion will do, Ser Gerion if you prefer”  
“...I hope I will please you”   
“Oh dear, you are an eye candy, but you are a present. For my nephew Jaime, I guess Ser Jaime now, he’ll like to be called so. You will teach him how to use his other sword.” he laughed, from the lines around his mouth and eyes, she could tell he did it often and readily.  
“I said to him that I would find the most beautiful wench, so he doesn’t have to misuse his sword hand to find relieve.”  
Cersei wasn’t happy by the news.   
A present for some green boy! She liked Ser Gerion, he was good looking and he didn’t seem cruel, if he had liked her, he could have become a regular, but she doubt that his nephew would ever leave his nest in the Westerlands.  
Such a pity.  
“I’ll be very glad to meet your nephew, Ser Gerion” she swallowed her disappointment, her smile was radiant, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Since a Lannister was to good to fuck a whore in a brothel, she was escorted to his room.  
‘He looks just like me’ she thought amazed and surprised.  
Well he was taller, his skin was tanned, his body larger and she could tell he was a virgin with just a glance, an innocent boy as green as his eyes.  
But still, he could have been her twin, he was beautiful.  
He too seemed surprised judging from his wide opened eyes.  
“Jaime, this is your virgin wench, a rarity, my boy. Maybe I’ll find a dragon for Tyrion after all.  
This is my gift to your knighthood and your birthday, by the Seven, she was costly enough.”  
Cersei only smiled, unsure if she was supposed to say something, the boy was still looking at her and apparently Ser Gerion loved to hear himself speaking.  
“Dear,she is practiced and a virgin so you can enjoy her skills and the feeling to be the first. A great joy and we all need a little joy in our life.”  
“She kind of looks like me” So the boy could talk. Great.  
“Yeah, don’t you think it is funny? I hope it doesn’t grossed you out. Jaime she was born in a brothel, she will make a fine man of you, don’t worry.”  
Cersei decided to say something. Jaime wasn't just a boy, he would be the next Lord of Casterly Rock someday, it would be awful if Ser Jaime wouldn’t want her.   
“Ser Jaime, I assure you, you will not regret this”  
He smiled, arrogant but not unkind.   
“Thank you uncle for the beautiful wench” his eyes were on her “Does this beautiful wench have a name?”  
“Cersei. Ser Jaime.”  
“Would you like to supper with me?”

 

She had been taught to give pleasure.   
She wasn’t expecting to get any.  
Jaime was the youngest customer she ever had. He had a face as beautiful as a girl, like her own face, large deep green eyes a little darker than hers, his hair, she had believed hers were golden, but his hair were truly gold, not straight like hers, but beautifully curled.   
Even if he was younger than her, mere three months, he was much stronger, his body was slim but muscled, near him she felt small and frail a feeling she hated.  
Jaime Lannister surprised her. She had been sure he would fuck her just after his uncle was gone, instead he talked to her. He wasn't the first, but the other talked while or after she serviced them.  
“Do I look like the man you had expected?”  
“No, you are at least thirty years younger, 160 pounds lighter and you have all your teeth and good breath”  
“By the Gods!”  
“He was my best customer in three years. I was sure he would have been my first”  
“You did things with such disgusting men?”  
She was irritated. It wasn't like a highborn cunt could chose her husband!   
“Tonight you will see why he was desperate to have me...Jaime”  
For the first the cocksure arrogant smile vanished from his face.  
“You will not regret to have me booked for a week”

True to be told, she wasn't that confident, She had knew what to do with one of her old customer, she would have to play the innocent nymph. They had wanted to defile her for years, they would know what to do.   
Ser Jaime was one and five. He surely wouldn’t want any instructions. He would deflowered her like a madman and it would hurt like hell.  
But on the other hand, who else could have said to have such a highborn as her first?  
He was more curious than nervous, this unnerved Cersei, wasn't he supposed to show a little more appreciation?  
“You were born in a brothel is it true?” he had asked her. Was he mocking her? But he didn’t seem malicious.  
“Yes my lord. I was born and raised there” best not to say too much  
“You like it there?I mean it is your home...”  
“I suppose Westeros has more beautiful places”   
She hated it there, and this wouldn't be her home forever, the madame employed girls from 15 to 30, when they got sick or ugly or just older they couldn't work there anymore - like hens, when you don’t lay eggs, you get your neck twisted- she often thought   
“What do you like?”  
-Freedom, power, money, respect- She had wanted to say. -To be like you. To be you-, but she wouldn’t get paid for telling the true, and this wasn’t a theme who would arouse him, and she had to please him, maybe he would become a regular.  
“I want to please you Ser Jaime. I hope you will like me” - and you will my darling, you will-  
Jaime didn’t gave her the time to undress him, soon he was naked like on his nameday.  
Cersei admired his toned chiseled body. Strong and harmonious.  
Since, surprisingly for her, he didn't show any inclination to strip her, she did this herself, slowly so he could admire his purchase.  
Like every time before she served a customer she assured herself of her beauty and her worth.  
She wasn't like the other girls, Ser Jaime would be her first step stone to richness and power.  
His breath was faster, his eyes dilated in lust, his cock hard.  
Yes, this were the signs she knew by heart. The stupid lust that made powerful and important men her slaves.  
She followed him on his enormous bed.  
She wanted to start, but he took her in his arms and soon he was on top of her, he hadn't give her the time to blow him!  
Did he want to fuck her without any foreplay?   
She wanted to say something, but he started to kiss her.   
It was strange, no one had ever kissed her, no one had ever wanted to, the Madame said that a whore’s mouth was just for sticking cocks in and for letting lies out.   
Why was he kissing her? Didn't he know how she had gained money?   
How many cocks she had sucked? He kissed her playfully but with ardor and want.  
“What should I do?”  
He surprised her once again.  
Why was he asking? Why wouldn't he just use her?   
He held her caged in his arms. She couldn’t move her hands, he was kissing her and he was good!  
He kissed her nose, her cheekbones, her chin, he descended to her breasts he caressed and licked them.  
“You really are a virgin?” she asked incredulous  
“Uncle Gerion told me to make it good for you, ladies or whores are the same in bed, and I should learn how to make a woman happy”  
“Oh” Cersei was surprised, to pleasure a woman, wasn’t a priority. Customers didn’t want to please, they just wanted to be told how big, strong great they were.  
It was new, and she really didn’t need it. The Madame often said that a whore would work best without feelings, one had to give pleasure, not to receive it.  
“Can I please you?” she started to kiss him, to touch his body. Even his cock was beautiful, long strong but not veiny. she put him in her mouth sucking deep while stroking the base with the other hand. He didn’t last long. She looked in his face, showing him how she swallowed his seeds, slowly licking her lips like it was delicious, men loved to see this.  
“You taste so good my lord” and it wasn’t completely a lie, he was fresh and clean  
His breath was ragged, his face flushed.  
“Wow...this was...wow” she smiled brightly, wanting to laugh, she liked to see them this dumb and defenseless.  
“You are so very beautiful when you smile”   
Unnecessary flattery, should she explain that he didn't need to woe her?  
Soon he was ready again, and he deflowered her.  
It had been painful, but not so much as she had feared, and he didn’t humiliate her, he had been kind and very fast.   
They did it many time in that night. Despite the pain, she aroused him time and time again. He would remember her as the best gift ever.  
She was raw and flattered at the same time.  
He asked her if she was hurt and if he had to stop, but his uncle had paid for it and Cersei could handle pain.  
“Don't worry Ser, I'm fine” she wasn't fine, but while he had learnt to fight, she had mastered the art of deceiving.  
“Drop the Ser, please. Call me Jaime. I like how you say it. It feels right.”  
“Jaime. I'm happy you are my first. Men as attractive and young as you, don’t frequent brothel this often. In a few years I can say that my first had been one of the most beautiful men in King’s Landing”  
She was almost sincere.  
He kissed her again, she had sucked him, but he kissed her.  
She didn’t enjoy the sex, but she liked his kisses and his touch.  
“We have a week, don’t let us waste time” 

It was a lovely week, in which Cersei showed her three years experience in pleasure men. They were the whole time together, he scrubbed her back in the tube, liked to brush her hair, and Cersei didn't mind anymore.  
Jaime was talkative and soon she knew all about squires and knights and battles and all the things she didn’t care about.  
She could only silence him using her mouth and hands and breast, luckily he was easily swayed.  
The fourth day he didn’t woke her up with his morning erection, instead a maid with hot water for her bath, she broke her fast alone.  
Confused and angry she waited for him. Jaime came to her past midday.  
The desire to punch him for letting her alone was strong, but she was his whore, she greeted him with a hug and a kiss.  
He had planned to tell her something, but he chose to fuck her instead, later as they were done, he lasted longer now, he decided to tell her how he spent his morning.  
“Cersei you know what they said about the Lannister?”  
“Your father rules the seven Kingdoms?”  
“About the Lannister in general!”  
“A Lannister pay his debt?”   
“Quite right, something like lalala like a Lannister…”  
“You mean rich like a Lannister?”  
“Exactly” he kissed her chin   
“And?”  
“Cersei, I want, I mean if you want...If you think you can endure to have only one man to entertain, Cersei will you follow me to Casterly Rock?”  
She couldn’t believe it.   
“Jaime, I’m not a Lannister, but I’ve a debt to pay”  
“A Lannister would do this for you”  
“Jaime, I’m your first woman, the first time you have sex, you like it and you are rich enough to buy my virginity, but how long will this last? You don’t need a whore. You are beautiful, and funny and smart. I would have to leave my home, and I would own you a fortune and you can kick me everytime you’ll like. This is way too risky.”  
“You would own me a think. This would be a present for you. You are right I don’t need a whore, I thought more about a mistress, and it wouldn’t ruin my family if I’ll be generous with you”  
“You are kidding!”  
“The jokester of the family is my father. Now this was a joke!” he looked her deep in the eyes “Cersei it doesn’t need to end in a few day. I had you and I want you. I will marry in two years, how about you and me till my wedding? I will pay you for your time. Come with me Cersei”  
Not a whore, she would be a mistress, wasn’t she was better than the other?  
Jaime recognized this.  
How many years would she have spent paying her debt back? Thanks to her golden boy she would be debtless and after two years she would come back as a rich woman.  
-Come with me? You bet guy-   
“It is all of sudden, but Jaime I like you and I would like to be your mistress”  
“Great. Uncle Gerion will take care of everything. I would have already done, but he told me I had you ask you first”  
He would have done this without asking her first? Jaime was a great guy but arrogant like the other nobles, maybe even more.  
“Take me away my knight!”

 

“Cersei you can always come back, but remember, once you whelped him some bastards and ruined your figure, you aren’t worth that much. To end a carrier and become a mistress of a lord is a dream for every whore, but he is very young and you aren’t that experienced. It will not last, be a smart girl; don’t fall in love,love is the worst poison,use your sponge, drink your moon tea. Fuck the boy, let him pay you good and come back. Don’t be stupid and marry a house knight or a nobody. You will be a legend; a maid whore who won the young lion’s attention. Everybody will love to have a piece of your cunt, but not be too long away.You have the what it takes to become a powerful whore. You can be a queen of whore or living in misery with a litter full of brats.”  
Cersei wasn't impressed about the counsel, she knew the Madame, how she sent the girls who were too old away, how she interceded the unwanted children…  
As she spoke her voice was hard and older than her five and ten years.  
“Don't worry I'm not a fool. Two years and when he'll marry his highborn cunt, I'll come back”  
Jaime Lannister was nothing more to her than the first step to power.  
Nothing more.


	3. On the road

 

On the road

 

She travelled by wheelhouse.

Alone.

The Lannister boy had widened his eyes when she told him that she had never ridden before. She hadn't even touched a horse beforehand and she surely had no love for the huge beasts!

He asked how she travelled previously and was surprised when she'd told him that she had never been outside King's Landing.

His uncle had laughed and told him that whores were the best riders, but that they didn't ride on horses.

Thus her journey began.

 

By the Seven! If she had a penny every time Jaime mentioned Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the morning, she could have bought Casterly Rock... two times! She never saw him, but she was sure she would have recognized him. The way his white cloak would fall from his shoulder, how he would handle his glorious sword…

_ ' _ _ He should have let the great knight fuck his pretty ass, no doubt Ser Dayne would have appreciated.' _

After hours of being caged like some stupid bird, with no one to talk to, and the pleasure of feeling every bump of the twice-damned road, they finally decided to take a rest.

Taking a rest meant for her to be fucked by ser Jaime Lannister.

He would fuck her like it was his last day on earth, and then he would talk  " Did I tell you how Ser Arthur…" and then he would tell her something fascinating like how Ser Arthur could fight and slice an apple at the same time, or something like that, after a short break he would fuck her again. He lasted longer now, and she wished his breaks would be longer too, but he had too much stamina.

Her body felt sore, her cunt was irritated and tender, sometimes she had the feeling his cock was longer inside her than inside his pants.

Sore, sick, miserable.

She had liked his kisses, but now she wanted to slap him. He was happy to return home, to his brother, she had heard he was as hideous as Jaime was beautiful, a twisted ugly creature with fangs and claws… She didn't understand how he could love him, how such a monster was allowed to live.

She kind of looked forward to seeing him, Jaime had laughed at her question if he really had a cock and a cunt. He told her that he was a little boy with a head larger than average, his legs shorter and his mind sharper than his sword.

His huge sexual appetite wearied her; he rode the whole time, why didn't he just sleep?

She had been proud that most men couldn't get hard after her ministrations, Jaime needed scarcely ten minutes and after her mouth he wanted her cunt. Every night she put the sponge dipped in vinegar inside, this should kept his dangerous seeds away from her womb. Her greatest fear was to get pregnant before becoming rich and powerful. Jaime was too young and his father still too alive and well, if she got pregnant she was sure he would soon get bored of her body. She would have to sink her level, his family would hopefully take the little bastard, but her life would be over, maybe they would arrange a marriage with some nobody... No, she would whore her way back to King's Landing, better than to live between fishers in Lannisport.

It wasn't only the fear, she was kind of homesickness. The brothel had been her home, the girls some kind of family...now she only had Jaime, and she needed to monopolize him, two years before his marriage, and Cersei planned to be his only woman this time.

She cried tears of joy as her moon blood came, for a few days her cunt could rest.

Despite some discomfort with the frequency of his desire, being with Jaime Lannister meant eating the best, drinking the best, wearing the best money could buy.

The Madame had feared she would fall in love with the boy, but Cersei wasn't an idiotic goose who wanted to be loved.

Living in the brothel she saw what a woman was worth. A nice penny for a fresh pair of tits and a kick in the ass for a sapped one.

She had been lucky to be born to one of the rich and noble. They were looked after, cured and didn't have to whore themselves to exhaustion.

When the rich boy had had his fill, she would be going back with her cunt still tight and purse filled with gold

They lost a lot of time because of the wheelhouse. She could hear the swearing outside when the wheels got stuck. She could hear the cheering when Jaime came out, after visiting her…

She hated them all.

They reached the Westerlands a fortnight later than planned.

The sight of Casterly Rock was overwhelming, it was immense even from far away.

She couldn't wait to witness the sumptuous life of the rich, but Ser Gerion surprised her, she would stay in a house between Lannisport and the Rock.

She had expected she would live at Casterly Rock. Wasn't it normal for the nobles to want their mistresses near?

A hunting house between his home and Lannisport would become her new home. The hunting house was by not by any means small, but compared to the Rock...it was a rather modest affair. She had pictured herself eating from golden plates, surrounded by servants, being 'Ser Jaime's girl'

That Jaime hadn't been able to leave her alone for a bit and had acted as if he couldn't live if she wasn't by him, this new Jaime was eager to leave for his dumb golden Rock.

He made it clear to her that it wasn't a good idea for her to visit his home, as his father wasn't fond of whores, but she was sure she could change his mind. One day she would see the inside of this impressive fortress she had glimpsed at the horizon.

She kissed him goodbye only pouting a bit, she needed a bath and she needed to rest.

Only one servant would tend to her needs. Dalia, an ugly, old sour looking woman with sagging enormous breasts. A woman who, judging the way she glared at her, didn't like her at all.

No doubt she thought she wasn't good enough for her 'young lord' to stick his prick in her.

When Cersei asked for a bath, she had looked at her like she was out of her mind. Cersei wasn't able to stop herself from a sneaky remark "We don't want for Ser Jaime to fuck a dirty woman, do we? His cock could rot!"

The water wasn't hot enough and she missed Jaime scrubbing her back. For most of the journey she had wanted for him to leave her alone, and now she missed him.

How could he leave her alone in her first night in the house that would be her home for the next two years?

She slept in a huge but simple bed, and unlike the ones she had shared with Jaime, it hadn't been warmed before. Nevertheless she slept immediately and dreamed.

It was more a memory than a dream. She was six years old and had a rogue fever that had lasted days. Years later they had told her how no one had expected her to survive, her mother hadn't left her side, she had sponged her body to break the fever, she had kissed her caressing her hair. Mother had loved her. Someone was caressing her head, mother...

She woke up startled, it wasn't her mother of course, the one petting her only loved her cunt.

" Good morning Jaime." She remembered to smile, the girls in the brothel knew better than to wake her up, but he wasn't aware of the danger of waking her up, he was fully clothed in her bed.

" You were weeping in your sleep. Did you miss me?" His usual cocky smile painted on his lips.

Did she miss him, or the feeling of being loved? She couldn't tell.

" I've missed my sweet Jaime so much." As soon as her words were out, he was already reaching for her blanket, but a loud knocking startled both of them.

" Your bath is ready." Dalia entered with the grace of a bull. Her expression as sour as it had been the night before.

" Will you join me?" she asked in her most seductive voice, raising from her bed naked and not caring to wear her gown.

" If I get out of my clothes, I'll forget all of my plans for today. Be a good girl and I'll scrub your back for you."

Dalia glared was aimed at her naked body, but it soften as she watched Jaime.

She would prefer that he put my head under water, but it wasn't Jaime's intention, his hands wandered around her body. "Don't worry Dalia, I'll help her." As if the witch gave a damn about her. He turned toward Cersei, "Dalia is a great cook, I’ll leave you in the best of care"

She had been sure he would fuck her in the bath, but he didn't try anything, despite his stiff cock.

After a breakfast full of delicacy from his noble table. Jamie showed her other things he bought for her.

" I noticed your clothes aren't appropriate for riding, this are some of my things. We can compare who wear it better"

It was a funny feeling wearing his clothes, she felt so much better and again she marvelled at their similarity.

Both starred fascinatingly at each other, it was like watching their own reflection coming to live.

" What are your plans for today, Jaime?"

" I'll be showing you around."

He lifted her onto his horse first and mounted behind her, she could feel his hardness poking at her spine, and she rubbed her ass provocatively on his front.

If she would have to suffer, he would too.

True to his words Jaime showed her one beautiful place after another. Since the house was isolated they only met a few people who already seemed to know who she was.

She couldn't resent them, they looked like twins, but after the initial surprise they watched her like she was some freak.

_ ' _ _ So they are more accustomed to hideous dwarfs then whores.' _ She hated country bumpkin.

She couldn't believe the sea was this clear and clean. Jaime took her to his secret cave.

" I can't swim"

He was incredulous as he, of course, could swim elegantly and fast. After showing off, he offered her to teach her how to swim.

She was famished, her butt and legs hurt, but she had always wanted to swim.

Her mother had been able to swim, but she had never taught her to, because it was too dangerous for them to go outside half naked.

" We aren't women, we are unprotected game. "  No stroll alone, no swimming, they could only go out in a group with Jill, the big muscled servant.

But now her arms were around his neck, her naked breasts pressed on his back, the smell of the sea, her fatigue, her almost freedom... She felt drunk.

Later as he thrusted inside her, she arched her back so he could reach deeper inside her, hugging him with her aching, heavy limbs. She could almost understand why some women liked to have sex.

This time she didn't mind that he rested his body on her, she didn't mind his sweat and his body who was always too warm.

His curls were plastered with seawater, his full lips slightly open, and she kissed him, not to seduce him, but because she wanted too.

She was happy that his uncle bought her.

They spent the whole day together, having fun, eating and drinking as if they were famished.

She was completely exhausted.

The next day Jaime found her feverish and with sunburn.

" Her skin is too fair, you shouldn't have taken her swimming the whole day!" A voice Cersei couldn't recognize spoke.

She felt like dying. She called for her mother, her mother smiled and suddenly she was gone. Men were around her. Men were dangerous! She had to protect her virginity…

" She needs to drink lot of water, she should eat fruits and vegetables…"

" I don't want to eat beets! I hate beets."

" The beautiful wench is coming back! Jaime take care she doesn't get any beets"

This time she recognized the laugh. It was Gerion Lannister

" Jaime?" her tongue was numb, her mouth dry "What happened?"

" You have a nice sunburn" he kissed her fingers.

Cersei was tried to smile, but her face hurt so much, she stopped midway.

" How do I look?"

" Delicious. Like a roasted duck."

She whimpered.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you namelessrandom for checking!

Because of her sunburn, Jaime hadn't requested any performance.  
He had visited her everyday, regardless of the weather or his schedule, bringing her delicious treats, clothes and beautiful little things like shells or flowers.  
One day he brought her a board game, although she was sure he made the rules up, they laughed together and he claimed as a prize for his victory kisses from her.  
It was strange, it as if he wasn't her customer, but a suitor, sometimes even a friend.  
Cersei had never had a real friend before.  
After a month together she realized that even if she didn't love him, and she didn't get satisfaction from their coupling, he was somehow dear to her.  
When Jaime wasn't there, she felt deserted. She had always thought she would have loved to be alone, away from the stupid hens and their idiotic women talks, but the days felt endless.  
The quiet was unnerving, she was used to the loud crowd from the Red Keep, the chatting of the girls, the singing of the cook and the maids.  
The customers would speak endlessly about their wives and their lack of beauty and they would often complain about their children… Everyone talked to her.  
One day she had been desperate enough she had even tried to talk to Dalia, the ugly cow had answered in monosyllables.  
Dalia's glance reminded her of the baker's wife.  
Cersei had always been beautiful, but before flowering she had been a wispy tomboy, after playing in the streets with a pack of, mostly, boys, she came back famished.  
Her mother would often give her money to buy her favourite pie and the baker's wife always gave her a big juicy one. The brat with big green eyes and a mischievous smile had charmed the woman.  
This changed when she got older and more feminine, the other girls refused to speak to her because of her mother's profession, the older boys tried to touch her and the baker, who had always ignored her, smiled the kind of smile she had learned to recognize and hate.  
When her mother died, she started to work and Cersei the brat was dead for the world. Cersei the whore didn't get a big pie, and even if they were the best pies in town, Cersei couldn't enjoy it anymore, not when it came with a hateful glance from the baker's wife who had always been kind to her.  
Cersei never forgot a slight, she remembered everything and one day, when she was powerful and rich, she would take her revenge, but she didn't want to think about the sad events in her life, she wanted to savour her life as mistress…  
But...  
Her life was boring.  
Yes she was the mistress of a future lord, but no one saw her and her marvellous dresses.  
Jaime wasn't helping. He never admired her dresses as she asked him if he liked her more in emerald green or wildfire green, he told her he would prefer her naked with her hair loose.  
Outside Jaime, only Dalia and a few peasants ever saw her.  
She started to long for Jaime to come to her, to talk to her, to touch her.  
She started to feel alive and whole when he was by her.  
He would come to her after his sparring, they would make love and then he would leave her and he would come back later in the evening.  
Sometimes he would sleep in 'her' home, for that she was glad, but there were times when he was tired and just slept after their coupling.  
He asked her if something was wrong one night, they were still in bed after their coupling, and he got mad for the first time.  
"Why are you lying?" he asked curious but also offended.  
"I'm not lying. Everything is great, you are perfect, I'm glad to be here with you."  
"Cersei, you aren't the same person when we I have you and when we are riding together or having fun. It's like you are pretending. Why? I don't want for you to pretending to be happy, I want you smiling and satisfied and not pretending to be so!"  
He didn't like her to play shy, he didn't like her to play the whore. What the fuck did he want?  
"Be honest with me."  
Easy for him to say!  
"Don't play and tell me what you really want and what I can do for making you feel as good as I feel. Uncle Gerion told me that women can feel as much satisfaction as men. I want to give you pleasure."  
What did she really want?  
Money, power, respect...a great love life was the last of her desires! Love? No dear, no thank you. Lust? A good whore didn't let herself go, she would serve her customer for his satisfaction.  
"Cersei, I want to be good. I want you to feel good. You aren't my whore, Cersei. You are my master at arms. Teach me, don't spoil me."  
"Master at arms?" she could teach this boy to be a good lover, his bride would appreciate, and he would be thankful to her, he would visit her in King's Landing...  
"Call me mistress, Jaime." she gave him her most radiant smile.  
This smile transmuted her face, she was more than beautiful.  
"You suck." Since the young lord wasn't her customer anymore, but a lowly apprentice she didn't sugar-coat her language anymore, he didn't seem to mind it.  
The Lannister boy was a cub, he wanted to play, but he didn't want to be in control.  
Cersei loved her new position as Master at arms.  
"No, I lick...and suck and you aren't satisfied." Came his voice from between her legs.  
"Did I say you could stop?" She asked while arrange his head where it had been before.  
How much fun it was. A boy true, but a powerful boy between her legs, the same position she had for years, lapping at her folds for her pleasure and his education.  
She didn't know what made her feel better, his clever tongue or his subdued position.  
She had told him what he needed to do to make a woman happy and to make her happy.  
She wanted for him to teach her how to ride and how to fight with a sword.  
He had been dumbfounded, but he accepted her wishes like he followed her commands.  
"I want to see other people Jaime! I'm lonely and bored here."  
His face told her he hadn't even thought that she could be lonely.  
Men.  
"Other people, well I can arrange this!" His expression looked pensive for the rest of the night.  
The next day he came with his dwarf brother.  
"First time seeing a dwarf!" He was ugly and short, but nothing exceptional.  
"First time seeing a whore." He answered nonchalantly while Jaime laughed.  
He was seven years old, but as tall as a three year old and yet spoke like an adult.  
She detested him, but he was interesting.  
No matter how hideous he was and the naturally antipathy he inspired, she looked forward to the next visit of the youngest Lannister, who even offered to teach her how to read.  
With Ser Gerion and his two nephews by her side, she visited Lannisport, she even made acquaintance with Addam Marbrand, Jaime’s best friend.  
Back at home as Jaime told her he would take her to a ball, she felt as happy as she had been for a long time.  
Jaime wouldn't tell her anything about the ball, just that it would take place in two months in Lannisport, it wasn't an official one, the host was a rich merchant, she wouldn't feel out of place. The sword lessons were replaced temporarily by dancing lessons.  
Tyrion who to her chagrin wouldn't be there, taught her some table manner.  
After months of monotony her life was as thrilling as it had once been.  
The costume that Jaime had ordered for her from the needlewoman in Lannisport was marvellous!  
Never had she worn something as beautiful. She had needed a few minutes to catch her breath and to gather the courage to touch it.  
Once a girl at the brothel got some peacock feathers from a customer, Cersei had been fascinated and unable to stop herself, she stole one.  
Of course she was caught, she still remembered the pain from her beating and the pain from losing her treasure.  
The costume was hers, the lavish fabric, and the semiprecious stones. The wings made of silk and bamboo… It was perfect.  
The jewelled mask concealed the upper part of her face, making her lips even more lush, her complexion was golden, her eyes a pool of green water.  
In her butterfly dress she felt gorgeous.  
At the feast she was the most admired, no one gibed her, no one spat on her face.  
Addam was telling her story about Jaime, the games they had played…  
Jaime disguised as a lion was approaching her, surely he wanted to dance with her.  
What a wonderful day!  
She was the most beautiful, and he wasn't alone with his opinion.  
He had the feeling every man in the room leached to fuck her.  
He felt rage building inside him, before she came into his life he had never suffered like this.  
He had the urge to kill whenever he noticed that someone was watching her with desire.  
As she laughed about something Addam was saying. He realized even his best friend was causing his jealousy to boil.  
He had chosen her butterfly costume, he had seen the costume before, but he didn't imagine she would look this… forbidden!  
She was aerial, it seemed she could have been swept away with a light breeze.  
Jaime wanted to catch this butterfly and to never let her go.  
She was his, why was she smiling to another? Her true smile, her true Cersei smile, not her whore's smile.  
Time to show her that she couldn't fly away from him.  
She looked at him and he couldn't think straight.  
He had to have her; unceremoniously he took her hand and took her to an empty room where he could finally sate his desire.  
Her wonderful dress was torn, utterly ruined, her cunt ached.  
She was seven once again and they took away her peacock feather.  
She couldn't go back to the feast, everybody could have noticed what Jaime did, everyone could see that she wasn't like them, she was a whore.  
She had been foolish, she was a whore, she had learned her lesson when she was twelve as the baker's wife didn't give her any pies anymore and everyone looked at her like she was a piece of meat. Not Cersei the girl but Cersei the whore, the cocksucker, the girl no respectable woman could greet. And she was a fool to believe anything else.  
Jaime fumbled at her dress, trying to make her look decent.  
Laughing she helped him and then he escorted her home.  
Once alone again she could finally cry. For the seven year old who had lost her treasure, for the girl without friends, for her soft beloved mother, for the twelve year old forced to do things she didn't like, and finally she cried for a young whore who thought she would have a nice day out...like a lady.


	5. Talking about the future

Cersei had lost all her desire to see other people

Dalia wouldn't speak a word to her.

It was alright, or at least she thought so.

Jaime should have been enough, however soon enough he would marry and she would be back to her loud and animated life.

She wasn't cross with him, at least she didn't believe she was. She felt disgusted with herself.

Jaime had only fucked her.

It was her duty as a whore to be ready wherever and whenever he wanted her!

He was Jaime fucking Lannister!

He could have requested her to please all the men in the feast and she shouldn't have resented him at all, it was the trade she had learnt.

He had damaged a stupid costume and for this she had cried like an idiot, she would get more dresses, Jaime was generous, in the few months they had spent together she already had more dresses than half of the other girls.

No wonder the Madame called her spoiled, one day no one would dare disrespect her, but until that day came she would had to endure.

Jaime didn't persist, as she explained how she suddenly didn't want to have other people around, after all it meant more time for him exclusively.

She was raptured about his prowess, having succeeded satisfying her sexual appetite.

She didn't have to fake it anymore, he had been a good pupil and she couldn't see why she shouldn't savour one of the few joys of her status as mistress.

To be cross with Jaime wouldn't have been easy anyway, he cuddled her, taught her to fight, played with her. His clever japes, his playful smirks, he was entertaining and beautiful.

Her defences crumbled at his smile.

Between kisses and touching, between lover and friend, she forgot herself again.

They were lying in her bed, silent and breathless after she had shouted her pleasure, she could have been quieter, but she enjoyed scandalizing the serving wench.

After regaining their breaths, they had talked like usual, the topic had seemed harmless, about what they would have done in the future.

"My Lord I'm a great maegi and if you'll give me a drop of your blood, I'll see your future…" she had played mimicking the old hag who had gave her mother a prophecy, she had wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and knelt on the bed.

Jaime laughed, he loved it when Cersei was relaxed and silly, she resembled more a little girl than an old witch.

He gave her his hand and was startled as she cut his finger with a little knife from her night table.

"Lady witch, you are the only one who can draw blood from me without me fighting back" he murmured.

She drank his blood and with a tremulous sigh she spoke with her eyes closed.

"You will be the Lord of the Westerlands. You'll be loved and respected as the golden lion of Lannister! You'll win a joust after another and your renown, as a knight will be as great as Ser Arthur. You'll have five red haired children, but one day you'll meet your first lover."

She interrupted herself, adding, smirking "She'll be the richest Madame in King's Landing...and she'll give you a gold haired daughter"

"I will be a rich brothel owner. I wouldn't need to serve the customer I don't like. I will serve a few selected noble guests, maybe I will have a lover... One day I would like to have your babe. A beautiful daughter. Golden like you. In twenty years you will visit my brothel and you will get me with child"

His reaction wasn't enthusiastic like she'd expected.

"Well you can't believe I would allow my daughter to be raised in a brothel with some whores?" he said it between disbelief and disgust. Never would his daughter be a plaything for all the perverts.

God, he wouldn't allow Cersei to go back there and put herself on display!

He could feel Cersei withdraw herself. Cersei was fire or ice, nothing in between, and as she spoke, her voice was as cold as he imagined the famous Wall in the North would be.

"Yes, of course, you would separate me from my child, because I'm a filthy whore. You enjoy what I do, but despise me because I learned by doing it."

"I don't despise you! I wouldn't take your child away from you! You'll live here with me…" he knelt beside her, taking her hand between his.

As she spoke her voice was dripping with sarcasm "I'm sure Lady Lysa Lannister would be delighted to have us around!"

He was beginning to feel annoyed "My wife will do what I command her to do."

She took her hand away from his grip.

"You didn't even ask me if I want to stay here. My wonderful life between fishermen and the lowborn."

"What is better than spreading your legs for every man with enough money? My daughter would have to serve the guests too? Is it to be a family tradition from the mother's side?"

She slapped him before he could say anything else.

He stood up from the bed and began to dress himself.

And he left the house calmly, as if nothing had happened.

Cersei couldn't believe what she had done.

She slapped a customer, her lord, her owner.

She froze in shock of her actions. 'He will not kill me... but he could!' She thought.

He could let me starve for a few days... maybe he would beat her, she only hoped he wouldn't mark her body... her face!

What to do? A whore with scars...her teeth...She would do everything she ever learned, she would be the best whore and would be a good girl.

Tears of humiliation and fear streamed down her checks... She did forget what she was and what he was.

A whore and a bastard, she was nothing. But he was a Sir, an heir, the richest heir in the seven kingdoms.

What did she do? What would he do now?

She had slapped him; it had been the first slap he received in his life.

Tywin Lannister didn't believe in bodily punishment and no one else had dared touch him. But Cersei wasn't like the others. She was his fearless lioness. He liked to provoke her. He loved her fire, he knew she could burn, but it didn't matter to him.

She had been shocked after the slap much more than him, he had wanted to laugh, but her eyes... fear?

He didn't know why he hadn't said anything. It wasn't like him to react like that, but he hadn't wanted to fight with her.

Once at Casterly Rock he decided to go with his uncles Tygett and Gerion, to handle some lowlifes who had been robbing houses nearby.

He thought a few days apart would do them well.

He hadn't come the next day, nor the day after or the day after that...

She wished he had beaten her already. The waiting for her punishment was killing her.

She didn't expect him to act that way, but sometimes she had the feeling he wasn't really there, like he would hide away inside himself.

What was a fitting punishment for slapping a Lannister? She supposed she would find out soon.

She was scared, she ate and drank much more, the fear was feasting from inside, stuffing her stomach didn't help.

Dalia came everyday mute and in her black clothes, she resembled a crow "Dark wings, dark words" she thought shivering.

How devastating if the old hag would be the one to chase her!

The ugly wench had hated her from day one, like she was dirt staining her golden Lord. Whatever Jaime would do to her, Dalia would approve wholeheartedly.

She washed the dishes without speaking or even looking at Cersei.

Normally Cersei would have her fun by dressing in very revealing dresses and kissing Jaime passionately where they could be seen, but today she wasn't in the right state of mind.

It was the ninth day after that damned slap; she finally decided she had to leave the house.

It would soon be dark, but went out anyways. Wearing one of Jaime's tunic and breeches she rode the old quiet mare to a lake.

Jaime found her at sunset glowing at the last daylight. She looked like a boy, like him truly, but she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

He wouldn't let her go. He couldn't.

He would marry Lysa, he would do his duty to House Lannister, but he wouldn't renounce her.

No other man would ever buy her.

No one after him, and if he ever found out who had been her first customer he would have him killed.

He would be the only one and the first in every other aspects.

She stood, it was rare to see her so relaxed, she had an inner frenzy, she couldn't stand still for too long.

Her gaze reached him, she was visibly scared.

He wanted to reassure her, but it had been so long, nine days without touching her, they would have time to talk later.

With long steps he reached her, he kissed her, grabbing as much as he could.

'He still wants me.' She thought briefly 'He wants to take me here.'

It wouldn't have been their first time outside, but she had been so scared for so long that her body was stiff; the relief not quite reached her yet.

"Oh!" It took her by surprise as he turned her on all fours and touched her anus, of course she knew that one day a customer would take her rear, but Jaime had never suggested anything of the sort.

She also knew it would hurt, especially without any oil.

'This is how he'll punish me.' he could have done worse, but she still wanted to weep.

It did hurt. Much more than her first time. Every push burned.

She refused to let the tears flow.

She would have liked to bite her lips, but she had to perform, so she moaned, hoping he wouldn't last very long.

She was paid for this she reminded herself.

She wasn't his mistress, she wasn't his Master at arms, she was just a whore he could take like an animal.

After a while he reached his peak.

"There is blood on my cock!" He sounded disgusted.

She choked a sob, and smiled at him kneeling before him, every movement painful.

"I can suck you clean" she purred

"Cersei it is your blood, you are hurt!" He sounded concerned.

What game was he playing? Wasn't it supposed to hurt her?

She was confused; it was already too dark to see him clearly

"I'm sorry Jaime." She murmured still kneeling down, her head bowed.

"Why didn't you tell me to stop?"

"But... you liked it!"

"You said you would teach me to please a woman not to hurt one"

"I thought you wanted to!" she whispered

"Why would I do that?"

"A Lannister pays his debt, I slapped you, but I'm sorry Jaime, I'll never do it again!" She hated begging, but tears and her body were her only weapons.

She was cold, hurt, miserable. She couldn't stand him and his stupid questions.

He couldn't have really believed she would like to be fucked that way!

Should she tell him that men loved to hurt women?

How she had almost choked on cocks because they like her fear?

She could have told him many stories!

"Jaime you own me. You have the right to take your pleasure, the way you like, but please don't mark my body!"

"I'm a knight, I would never beat you!" His indignation made her smile

'You hurt me as you fucked my ass raw.'

They didn't speak their way back.

Riding was painful and she cried silent tears, but she managed a smile as he helped her dismount her mare.

She kissed him goodbye.


	6. Reconcile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support! I'm sorry it took so long.

If he had had any idea that she would have suffered this much he would have never done that.

During the journey the men had joked and asked if Cersei still had any places on her body that hadn't been explored…

He had been stupid.

He couldn't believe she thought he had wanted to hurt her, he should have talked to her first, but it was offensive that she had expected him to be a brute!

It rubbed him the wrong way that she thought he would have wanted to hurt her.

Had she thought he would be like some of the guests she had spoken about?

Why did she think about a future at Kingslanding, a future without him?

Why was she so obsessed to become a Madame?

She would never rule at Casterly Rock, true, but as his mistress and with his father at the Capital, she would be powerful enough.

He would get Lysa with child, as soon as possible, but Cersei would have been his love.

She would forgive his rudeness, he was sure of this.

He tried, he tried really hard, but Cersei, the girl he learned to love was gone.

He tried to speak, but she distracted him by seducing him. She did things with him, things he didn't ask for and that brought his mind far far away from any rational thoughts.

She was still chattering, smiling, flirting with him, but she wasn't serious about the sword fighting anymore. Neither did she ride or ask about company.

She wore dresses only, no more tunics and breeches.

It was like her only goal in life was to please him.

He misses her outbursts of anger, her self-regarding tirades, her mockery about everyone and everything.

Her smile didn't reach her eyes. Whether he was beside or inside of her, she felt so far away.

Jaime Lannister was young. He never had to ask for everything he simply got all he ever wanted, he never doubted he would get Cersei too.

He almost couldn't enjoy the upcoming tourney…

An idea floored him, instead of another separation; he would take her with him.

She needed some fun. She needed to see him as a knight and not some brute.

She would boast her new dresses, and relish in her status as his mistress.

"This is gorgeous!" she didn't have to act when he gave her a lion amulet with rubies. Something thing as precious as it was beautiful.

"I've ordered this from our best gold smith, it resembles the one my mother used to wear"

His voice was trembling, and Cersei's heart skipped a bit.

She wanted to kiss him, to talk to him about their loss, about the mothers they had loved, but she couldn't. She forced herself to remember how he had ruined her dress, how he had fucked her up her ass, outside like an animal. He was a lion and she a whore.

She needed to be strong against him.

She smiled, she would sell the amulet as soon as she reached King's Landing.

At first she had hated the whole idea of the stupid tourney, or worse the journey, but it was for the best and maybe only way to be seen by her future customers.

During their journey he was as gallant as any knight from the songs. He was courteous, convivial and always near her.

He held her hand, kissed her hair, even sung her a ballad… he behaved as if she was his betrothed. Ever since one of his men had been foolish enough to joke about golden whores within Jaime's earshot and had been dismissed for it, the rest of his men treated her like royalty.

Despite everything she couldn't enjoy the voyage.

Unlike their first time together they were no longer just fucking around, now she was treated like a lady.

They wouldn't share a room, and she always got the best room in each Inn, their pace was slower, sometimes they would ride together, a difference like day and night as he rode back only to fuck her in the carriage.

It was silly, he was silly, first he treated her like a lowly whore, and now like a virgin…

The tourney of Harrenhal, would host the creme de la creme of Westero's knighthood and their wealthy patrons, Jaime couldn't stop talking about their results and various techniques, things she could use to seduce some of them.

Jaime had refused to stay in the castle, he would sleep in his tent, Cersei would stay in her own smaller one.

Cersei was unsure if her stay was a good idea, Lord Whent was Lysa's grandfather, he wouldn't find the situation amusing, not when the King and almost every noble was there. Luckily not only were the Tully's not there, but Lord Lannister remained in King's Landing with the Queen, the pregnant princess Elia and the younger royals.

She used all her persuasiveness, to convince him to be Lord Whent's guest and to leave her with a few guards and in an anonymous tent, a little bit of discretion could be helpful.

All of his wits were in his sword hand... apparently.

The jousting bored Cersei immensely.

She couldn't understand why the highborn were so crazy about this dangerous waste of time.

One person agreed with her, Robert Baratheon, lord of Storm Ends and her one time customer.

The man who almost claimed her maidenhead.

She met him the second day of the tourney, and he managed to tell her how much he loved his betrothed and to ask her to fellate him.

He wouldn't joust, he would take part at the melee and she hoped someone would open his skull.

But she could have lived even if Robert wouldn't die, but the loud blabbering oaf had to talk with Jaime about her 'skills' and she had to dissuade him to ask for a duel.

That night she succeeded to seduce him.

She had to, he had almost fallen from his horse, and the fear of being discovered only made their coupling more thrilling.

She was delighted, she could have bathed in Robert's blood and fucked Jaime on his corpse, but Robert was bigger with his huge war hammer that he carried effortlessly. She shivered. "He is nothing. I'm yours."

And it wasn't a lie.

The tourney would always be like a dream she couldn't recall anymore in her mind. Jaime won and won and won again.

Only the moment when her lion tossed the dragon prince in the dust would remain in her mind.

A crown of pale winter roses on her head and his smile on her.

It wasn't a lie.

She couldn't help but touch the crown, her beautiful crown.

Jaime teased her she would love some weeds more than him, but he smiled at her, with his usual blend of cockiness, pride and love.

In her mind she voted to never part from her crown or from Jaime. The misery of the masquerade and what she had believed to be a punishment was forgotten. Jaime loved her and she loved him, he felt right, not like the other disgusting men.

The journey back 'home' was different to the other, they still hid their trysts, but in public they would hold hands, he would kiss her wrist and they would laugh and speak all the time.

They were in her tent, giggling like children, they made love and he sucked on her nipple, they way she liked him to, his hand was wandering to her mound, he cared about her desire even after having his share.

They had shared some sweet wine and Cersei closed her eyes to concentrate on her pleasure, as he suddenly started to speak.

"I want you to have my child." He sounded far too serious for a man with a nipple in his mouth.

To her surprise she found herself nodding before she could decide what to say.

"Now?"

"I know that it takes nine moon turns or was it eleven?"

"Shouldn't you have some true borns first? Isn't it the rule? You have to be good first to be bad later?" She laughed even if she didn't feel like it. She was confused. It was alternatively high and low since Jaime came into her life. Did she want to have a child? Become a mother? Ruin her figure?

"I want my first born to be from the woman I love. From my queen of love and beauty"

Queen of love and beauty, has there ever been a more beautiful title that? A lovelier melody? A sweeter taste?

"I was afraid, as you almost died…"

"I was never in danger!" he protested.

"I thought it would be nice to have a piece of you"

A piece of him, of them both, as beautiful and golden as they were.

He made her a queen and he wanted her to give birth to his son.

His first-born son.

"A daughter would be nice." he interrupted her thoughts.

"A daughter?!"

"My mother always told me, my curls would be wasted on a boy, maybe I can give them to our daughter"

She had wanted a daughter before meeting him, but only because she knew she wouldn't have be allowed to raise a boy in the brothel, but now the situation was different, and a boy would cement her position.

A bastard could become a knight, he could have his own lands, but a bastard girl was only good for a brothel.

"Why not a son?" She asked unwinding herself from his arms. She sat up naked.

"I guess I don't want for you to bear me any sons."

"But why? Men love to have sons!" Male babes had better opportunities to be acknowledged by their fathers, while girls didn't.

"I wouldn't like the idea of you loving another male"

He was ridiculous.

"It wouldn't be another male, it would be your son!"

She could tell that he wasn't joking.

"A son would take too much of your love, time and teats. I'm the only man allowed to suck on your nipples."

She sighed "Then a daughter, if it makes you happy." Still she hoped for a son. Lord Tywin wouldn't ignore his first-born grandson, and of course Jaime would have to deal with her nursing their son.

A son would be her passport to the Lannister status.

She loved Jaime with all her heart, but what if something happened to him?

The huge stallion he road, a treacherous lance, his smile whipped forever from his pale lifeless face...she shivered.

She wanted this child so much, it scared her, a son of his and her blood combined.

His babe, she was sure, she could love him wholeheartedly.

She was restless while they made love again.

"I hope I'm with child."

He would go away, to his bride, he had to, but her heart ached nonetheless.

Gerion Lannister had few regrets in his life; he didn't need regrets to poison his life. He wished he hadn't bought the girl for Jaime.

It should have been something diverting, light, enjoyable, a week with a skilled whore.

He hadn't protested wholeheartedly as Jaime had expressed his desire to continue his liaison with his wench. He had been indulgent, Jaime needed a female presence in his life, he could work on his skills to pleasure his future wife, but the way he looked at the girl was like Tywin looked at Joanna. The way Tywin would never allow Jaime to look at a whore.

A betrothed man who crowned his mistress in front of the Realm.

Scandalous.

He shivered remembering Aerys' smile.

Tywin would be furious.

Tywin Lannister was indeed furious, the tale of his son and some wench came back long before the royals.

Jaime was his son, the son Joanna gave him; a golden lion, his pride.

No one would ever laugh about him. He wouldn't allow it.

The whore was a disgrace, a stain that could jeopardize the Lannister-Tully alliance. Hoster Tully was as proud as a king; he wouldn't accept a son-in-law who crowded his whores openly for all to see.

The piece of filth had to be castigated, she needed to learn to stay in her place, and her place wasn't anywhere near Casterly Rock.

He gave a few of his men some instructions, he had decided against his first idea to let Jaime see the whore's punishment.

Jaime was a hot-blooded boy and he couldn't harm his heir, he would fight and no one of his men could brag how they manhandled the future lord of the Rock.

No public punishment, no walk of shame, the whore would pay, but in a smaller intimate fashion.

"I love you Cersei Waters. I want the entire world to know that you belong to me. It was stupid I know."

"You are an idiot, but I love you too"

He chuckled. He would visit the Tully's and act as the penitent fiancé.


	7. To break a doll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and to namelessrandom who is a lovely beta

"If our child is a boy we could name him Tywin."

"You mean if he doesn't have any hair?" Both laughed as they found themselves for once fully clothed, walking hand in hand through the nearby forest.

"Wouldn't your father like it?" She asked feeling a little anxious.

"The bastard son of a whore named after the lord of the Rock? Very unlikely." Jaime's first true born would have this honor.

"And for a girl…" She started, but he interrupted her before she could say Joanna.

"Addam for a boy and Lana for a girl." He said, there wasn't a name he particularly liked, but he knew Addam wouldn't be cross with him, maybe he would even be glad. While Lana, sounded very Lannister without being too Lannister.

"But…"

"Cersei, my father would be furious. We don't need to pick a name from my family's book. We can name our children the way we want."

"Will your father accept our child, Jaime?" She was afraid, and by now he knew that she looked angry when scared.

"Of course he will." He tried to sounds convincing "But he is kind of uptight, he will want those names for Lysa's brood."

"The half trouts?" She paused "But they will be yours and you will love them!"

"Never as much as I'll love our child. I have to marry Lysa, but I chose you."

"Your uncle did, not you." She corrected bitterly.

"Uncle Gerion knows me better than my father."

"Half trouts, half lions...what will our child be?"

'A bastard' He almost joked, but instead he answered "A cub, because you are a lioness, you could really be a Lannister yourself!"

"She kissed him full of love and gratitude.

"If they hadn't made a child it wasn't because they didn't try enough.

"Cersei knew a lot how **not** get pregnant way more than actually try to conceive, but she had spoken more than once with a midwife in the brothel. And he spoke with his brother about some of the curious way to get a woman with child, Tyrion told him those were tales a good nutrition would help. Jaime decided they just needed to fuck. If it was enough for horses and dogs it must be good enough for people, but he drank Cersei's potion and used a saddle Tyrion created for him, exactly for his balls.

"He would have gladly tried more to father this child, but he had to prostrate himself before the Tullys. He would tell them that Cersei wasn't his lover but a poor distant orphaned cousin, he crowned her that way he didn't have to choose a highborn lady."A stupid mistake, but not meant to insult anyone. He loathed to leave Cersei alone, he would have suggested she should go with them, but uncle Kevan had been adamant. Hoster Tully would never let his daughter be in the same room as a whore, even one with maybe some Lannister blood.

By now she should have been accustomed to his journeys.

She could sew a little, actually she never finished sewing anything from start to finish, back at the brothel she had just modify the old dresses from the other women. She could start to make some children's clothes, but Jaime would commission the best seamstresses from the Westerlands. She never loved sewing anyway. Tyrion the impudent dwarf was at bed with a cold and probably a whole lot of books. She could have gone riding on the old mare, but since she might be pregnant, riding wouldn't be the best choice. She wanted to be pregnant so much. And so she spent her time walking, dreaming and praying that Jaime wouldn't like Lysa Tully.

She missed Jaime and this made her sad, but she missed her moonblood too. She succeeded. She was a little scared, she was hopeful, she was happy.

Before they came in her and Jaime's home and transformed her from the beloved mistress in a whore to use and abuse once again.

"Dalia, what are you doing here? Does Jaime's princess need something?"

"No, Ser Gerion, she has more than she can handle at the moments." She smirked to a fellow woman.

Something disturbed him, the half smile the two women exchanged chilled him, their smile was malicious, evil. Why did they hate the girl so much? What had she had done? Tywin hadn't spoken about her, and didn't even want to hear anything about her.

He should have been relieved, but somehow he felt irritated, maybe a ride would help him. He could visit Lena at Lannisport or just watch the seamen taking back their catch or maybe he could drink some Dornish wine.

The three stallmen didn't notice him, their discussion was lively.

"I swear! The lucky bastards get to fuck the whore from the capital!."

"Why would she fuck the idiots? Ser Jaime can fill her purse just fine."

"They don't need to pay. The whore is free to take, a regard from his Lordship."

They finally noticed him. Ser Gerion couldn't know, but he looked just as menacing as his brother.

The men didn't dare to speak to him. He felt just as cold as his brother was. The girl. Jaime's girl. He prayed he wouldn't be late.

In the house he found a dozen of his brother's men, on the table the naked girl, her hair, her long beautiful hair lying all around her. He could see the blood on her bald head, then she had looked like a doll, golden and rosy, smug and anxious, like a pet and he had bought her, like an animal, like a doll, and they had treated like one.

"Ser Gerion..."

"Out. All of you."

The girl had a cord on her neck, but she was breathing. She must have tried to resist, but what could a mere girl do? He took her in his arms, she wasn't conscious, some moans escaped her bleeding lips. He took her to the maestar and waited. Lord Lannister would surely want to see his victim.

But the mighty lion of the Rock didn't have any haste. He waited a fortnight before calling her in his solar.

A broken doll. That was all Tywin Lannister could see when looking at her. Her eyes green like so many in his family were just small slits. Her face a swelling mess in different colors from black to blue to green. She must have been a beauty, but with her shaved head, hideous face and the gown that would have better suited a septa, one would have never believed she had been a queen of love and beauty a few months before. Now she looked grotesque just like the Imp.

But she wasn't slacking, her bearing wasn't that of a demure lowborn. Too proud for a whore, he didn't appreciate this. No, she wasn't his sons golden lady, she was a fool. Lannister didn't need whores who didn't know their place. Jaime would have his lady wife, he wouldn't need her anymore.

Something in her did irritate him, she was somehow familiar.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience my men caused you." Her eyes widened a little bit. He didn't offer her a seat, she was still standing. He could see she wasn't well.

"Are you mute?" He asked, he was sure he had seen the whore somewhere...but where?

Her hand took the scarf away from her neck. He saw the marks around her neck hidden by the scarf, she had been strangled.

"My mother was." The voice was a painful whisper. He saw something more, he looked at her hands, her long delicate fingers was as long like the hands of his own mother lady Jeyne. She looked so very Lannister.

Suddenly he realized that she must come from his seed, he fathered the girl with the mute whore he used to frequent after Joanna's department from Kingslanding. His son had relationship with his bastard.

She had to go. She had to be spirited away, but for the resemblance she bore to his mother, he wouldn't kill her, he would give her enough coin so she could live comfortably somewhere far away from his heir.


	8. In which there is no joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos

"The whore has to go. Jaime will never see her again." He was his big brother, the saviour of the family and the quintessence of being a Lannister. Cunning, powerful, the one who cared about him, the one who had tried to make another Kevan out of him.

Tywin was Kevan's God, Genna's hero, Tygett's rival, the King's hand, Lord Lannister, destroyer of two houses, punisher of poor defenceless women.

The great lion of house Lannister.

He couldn't look him in the eyes, he had always joked about Tygett and his incapacity not to take everything so seriously.

He wished so much that he could just laugh, reject this story with a simple shrug of his shoulders.

He desired.

But he wasn't able to.

"I'll take her away" He turned the back to his brother, he would take the poor girl away.

Away from the dangerous beast that he called brother.

The girl refused to take any milk of the poppy. The maester tended her wounds, two servant girls took care of her.

He didn't post any guards since his brother didn't want to punish her any further.

She was safe.

He laughed bitterly.

"Cersei, we have to talk" She was sitting on her windowsill, pale with swollen purplish neck

"I... tried to... stop them" The words came painfully slow, the worst thing were her begging and fearful eyes. 'Believe me please' this was he could read. She didn't need to feel sorry, it wasn't her fault. He was the one who destroyed her.

"Cers...Sweetling, I know. I don't blame you, but you see, this changes everything…"

"Jaime…" She rasped, he hastened by her side and noticed how she winced from his touch.

"Sweetling you can't be Jaime's mistress anymore."

"But, but…"

"Sweet girl, Jaime will marry Lysa Tully and Lord Tully will not tolerate you… Ever." He paused observing the girl. "You see this marriage is very important, it's a pity you both are so young, he just can't keep a mistress before marrying. He crowned you his Queen of love and beauty before half of Westeros! Lord's Tully pride will not accept this…" He knew he had to add a further injury "...Jaime will not accept what happened to you either…"

She had been a strong and proud little thing, but after what she had gone through he wasn't surprised she started to wail. Raw and heart wrenching.

He had dreaded this.

She tried to speak but he couldn't understand the words.

"I'm with child" She sobbed full of phlegm and pain." .Jaiiimeeee"

Fools, golden fools.

Jaime, the girl and worst of all himself.

She would alternately cry and speak. With him only.

Tywin was on his way to Kingslanding and Gerion was glad. Jaime's stay was prolonged to his nephew's dismay and his own relief.

Tywin would take care that Jaime would be away from the Westerlands for a year or more.

He knew how much his nephew hated to write, and he felt awful reading Jaime's letter to him and for Cersei.

His love for her, his wish to make a babe as soon as possible.

'Please uncle Gerion take care of her.'

One could say he was taking care of her.

Still he felt the lowest as he made her believe that due her spoiled status Jaime wouldn't have wanted her anymore. That the men were surely sent by Lord Tully. That she needed to go far away, to have her child.

As he saw how desperate she was he knew he had to give her some hope thus he lied again. He lied about pleading her cause and maybe after some time when Jaime would pardon her and Lord Tully would forget her, he would take her back to Jaime...

Awful lies.

She couldn't stay in Westeros if Jaime shouldn't find her.

He had wished to tour the Free Cities as long as he could remember, but this journey would forever leave a bad taste in his mouth.

He spoke with Lena about his journey and to his surprise she was adamant to come with him. Trying to reason with her wasn't possible.

She didn't wish to marry and this was the reason they had started their tryst.

"No one will marry a barren and spoiled daughter, no matter how rich my dowry would be." She had stated.

Intelligent and funny, Lena.

"If I travel with you my father will not be able to sell me to that awful fat merchant with seven children. Spoil my reputation more"

A female presence would have been good for the girl, he told her as much about Cersei's life without divulging Tywin's role in her misfortune.

Lena's eyes shined strangely as he told her about Cersei's pregnancy.

Gerion Lannister, his mistress, the mistress of his nephew and his crew sailed on the "Laughing Lion". No one felt like laughing.

She was miserable, she looked so young and lost, despite the pain she must still have felt she didn't lament.

During the night she forgot her stoic behaviour. She cried and called for Jaime.

He didn't know if it was the pregnancy or the motion sickness, but she vomited all day. He almost hoped she would lose the babe, so she could start a new life, but Lena told him the child would give Cersei the strength to survive.

Unfortunately Cersei didn't open herself to Lena, when she wasn't puking, she watched the sea, when she spoke she could only talk about Jaime and the son she was carrying.

"She hopes Jaime will take her back if she'll have his son" Lena suffered with the girl, but sadly they remained strangers to each other.

Lena wasn't a noble, but her family was rich, Cersei the bastard daughter of a whore and an unknown father… no, the two ladies didn't have much in common.

The ship ride wasn't the happy laughing matter he had dreamt about. It was uncomfortable and painful and he was happy as a they reached Lys.

In Lys he rented a small sunny house. A house Cersei didn't leave for the whole duration of her awful pregnancy.

The birth was something he wished he would forget someday.

Her not ending screams and suddenly the silence.

Lena came out radiant, smiling through tears a wailing bundle in her arms.

"Did she die?"

"No, look at this little jewel, she is perfect, isn't it?"

"I mean Cersei…" He looked at the little bastard. Jaime's first born daughter. A squealing pink thing. So little, so precious. He didn't fight as Lena put her in his arms.

"Hello, little cub. You are the pinkest thing I've ever seen. What's the name of this sweet darling?" He asked Lena.

"Cersei wanted to name her Jaime, but I think she believes she is a boy. The maester gave her a generous amount of milk of the poppy. Oh you are the cutest little girl, Gerion she looks like you!"

"She is a Lannister she can only be beautiful...how is Cersei?"

"She is sleeping!" Did he hear some contempt?

"Now this little lady and I will go to the wet nurse. You are hungry aren't you, my little cub?"

Cersei was still weary as he spoke with her.

"Cersei, you did wonderful. Your daughter is beautiful"

"Daughter?" She chewed the word confused.

"Yes, she is healthy and...pink and without a name."

"Jaime, my son Jaime" she fought to keep her eyes open.

"It's a girl. You have a daughter."

"Jaime. Jaime."

"How long does she have to take the milk of the poppy?" A week passed and Cersei was still abed, still drugged.

He was afraid, childbirth scared him, his mother passed away soon after his birth, he didn't want for the girl to die.

With Cersei dead everything would be easier, but she suffered enough, she didn't need to die to simplify the life of the Lannisters.

Lena was holding the babe in her arms, already a familiar sight for him and everyone else in the house.

Lena was always with the babe.

She slept in the room with the wet nurse and the babe.

"Gerion, she is hurt, the maester gave her something to stop the milk flow and this makes her sleepy."

"Wouldn't it help if she nursed the little one?" The babe was becoming more beautiful everyday.

He marvelled, the little thing survived the rape, the journey and she came out pure and clean, little pouty mouth, golden hair and green eyes.

A little Jaime as a girl.

"Do you think she is fit to be a mother? Gerion, she is a child herself, she can't be trusted with such a task."

"Lena, we will not stay here forever. Cersei needs to be trusted with this task, she is the mother. I'll leave money enough for a tutor for… the child needs a name!"

"The child needs a name and a family" She was firm and she looked in a way he didn't want to understand.

They had taken her baby away.

It had been awful, Lena and the midwives had bossed around. Push, breath. Blood and shit and pain. So much pain.

And then the babe came out.

All this pain for a daughter, a daughter she never saw.

Ser Gerion asked her to name the child, Jaime should have named his daughter. Ser Gerion could name her. A bastard she may be, but still a Lannister.

Gerion named her Joy.

Not Joanna for the daughter of a whore.

A servant brought her in the late morning. The babe screamed and Cersei was glad as Lena took her away, this way she could sleep.

She didn't want to think.

Cersei feared not to be as beautiful as she had been anymore.

Lysa Tully with her auburn hair, big blue eyes and her tight virgin cunt infested her dreams.

Jaime had loved her breasts, he hadn't been able to keep his hands or mouth away for too long, her breasts would have sagged if she had nursed Joy.

Her own mother hadn't nursed her and she had grown just fine.

The wet nurse with the enormous teats had surely more milk and Lena had approved her decision.

The bitter potion that the maester gave her made her so sleepy, she hadn't any force to hold her little girl, not like her daughter seemed to mind. Joy was always crying, the few times the nanny and Lena allowed her to hold her.

She preferred Lena and Gerion.

She didn't know what her feelings towards her daughter were. If only she would have been pregnant sooner, Jaime would have never had done this to her. She loved how delicate and beautiful she looked, just like Jaime.

After the birth she had cried her breasts full with milk, her body not understanding that it was over. She was just Cersei, not the maid slut, not the lion's mistress, not the used whore of Lannisport.

Now that she wasn't with Jaime's child in her womb, she felt how empty she was.

She would never feel whole without him.

She had wanted to be the mother of Jaime's child, but his daughter rejected her like her father before.

She exploded one night as she had wanted to hold her, one of the servants had brought her a cup warm wine with egg and sugar, this helped her to sleep.

Joy had been sleeping peacefully, Cersei had been almost afraid to bother her, but she was her mother! A mother should have been able to kiss her baby.

Joy had opened her eyes and after recognising her, started to cry.

The late hour, the wine, the memories of all the pain she had endured...Cersei felt hate towards the loved and pampered babe. Her voice dripped with venom

"I forgot Lannisters don't like whores! But you aren't a Lannister. You aren't better than me. Your grandma was a whore, your mother is a whore. Your father will never recognise you, like mine didn't. Why are you always crying? Why don't you like me, you little bastard? You are like me, no one wants you. You will become a whore like me. You are no better."

She was yelling, shaking the babe, Joy was crying at the top of her lungs.

She never heard the nanny and Lena shouting, suddenly Joy was gone, and someone was hugging her.

"You didn't want me to nurse my baby because I'm a dirty whore." She wasn't sobbing anymore. Lena had been outraged and would have liked to yell at her, but he ushered her out the room.

"No, it's just, you are a child yourself, just a little girl…"

"She hates me, I'm her mother and she doesn't want me, Jaime doesn't want me, no one wants me…"

Maybe Lena was right.

"I know what she had to suffer, but I know that Joy deserves more than the girl could give her. It isn't her fault, but she was raised to be a whore, what she had to endure was awful, but it doesn't change the fact, she will not be a good mother. Joy is a Lannister, don't you want her to be happy and safe? No one would touch a Lannister, but the daughter of a whore is free, wild. She is adorable! She could be my daughter, our child. Think about this."

He explained her Lena's plan. They would raise Joy as his and Lena's daughter.

She would get enough coins to live comfortably, the house, a few servants, a tutor to teach her to write and read.

She nodded.

He'd believed it would be a good idea to take her outside for a walk.

They would travel back in a fortnight, Lena was happy and couldn't wait to come back with 'their' daughter.

They had strolled at the port, Cersei was slender and even more beautiful and womanly than before, in Lys her beauty surpassed those of the women around her and many men looked after the girl.

She was stiffer than before after they walked by a brothel. Looking at him strangely.

In the night she visited him.

"I'm not a Lannister but I pay my debts too." She whispered stripping her nightgown.

"Cersei, sweet girl you don't need…"

"Don't you like me?" What a question. She looked like the Maid in flesh, and Gerion's body couldn't help but responded to her beauty. He hadn't slept with Lena in months and…

"You don't want this" He stated, her hands were trembling. He wouldn't sleep with an unwilling woman.

"But I have to, and you will not hurt me" Her voice was flat and unsure

"You have to? Well you are young and if you want to take a lover…"

"I'm not supposed to sell myself?"

"Why would you? I told you, you can live here…"

"And you showed me the brothel where I can work." She was still naked and trembling.

"Please put your robe on. You don't have to be a whore anymore. I'm rich, my family is rich, my brother was...generous" He hated calling the man who hurt her generous. "Your bills will be paid. If you want to sleep with someone it will be because you want to."

"I want Jaime…" She threw herself in his arms, he hugged her back. In his mind damning his body, his brother and men generally.

They took Joy away from Cersei.

The route to Lannisport was an easier one, Lena sang and played with 'their' daughter.

Back at home they decided to live together at Casterly Rock, his family accepted Joy.

Jaime came back.

He had to lie again.

It wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie, it wasn't a lie

"Jaime, she was a whore. Whores lie. She was scared you'll like your bride more than her and since she wasn't pregnant she fucked some other guys. This way she could have greeted you with a pregnant belly and you'll have recognised her bastard as your own."

"Don't be disappointed, whores are like...rats, they try everything to survive. As she saw her plan was ruined she packed her things. It's for the best, she'll be back at King's Landing, with people she knew."

Jaime believed him.

Every world he had spoken.

Why not? He trusted him, he was his uncle but more like an older brother to him, he bought him his first pony, his first woman.

Images of her hunted him. Her body beaten and bruised. Her screams as she birthed Joy. That night as she tried to seduce him. The brave girl, the crying girl, the shaking girl. He would be a father to her little girl, but it would never be enough.

In this moment he saw how the innocence left in his nephew's eyes died

The same way it died in Cersei's.

They still were beautiful and golden, but something in them was lost

He believed him, of course he did and left him with a nod.

He couldn't bear to be near Jaime, couldn't bear to taint the poor girl no more.

A quest. This is what he needed.

Doing something heroic or dying while trying.

Lena would care for Joy and with a mission to fulfil he would maybe be able to forgive her, himself and the whole mess.

"I'm going to find our ancestral sword"

He dreamed of her every night

She fucked some men, men without a face, but sometimes even friends of his.

Soldiers, bakers... it seems to him that every man he spoke with, would visit him in his dreams.

She moaned, screamed wild and beautiful. An obscene bacchant shamelessly offering her body to all the cocks around her.

A whore in body and soul.

He saw her everywhere even in his children's faces, in uncle Gerion's little bastard...everywhere.

It didn't help that she was as blond and green eyed as his family.

He could have choked on his hate.

In bed with his wife he had to control himself, Lysa wasn't Cersei. He wouldn't hurt her.

He bedded his wife every second day, but he hadn't slept in her room, not even one night.

After he spent himself inside her, he would thank her and would go to his chamber, with a hunger that the couplings with his wife couldn't assuage.

She had replaced all his blood with poison and it burned him from within.

He would find her.

She would look at him with the smile he had thought was her genuine smile, the innocent smile of a young girl, she would lie to him, maybe she would cry and throw herself in his arms.

She would kiss him, lure him with that lush rotten treacherous body of her.

He would play her dirty game, he would suppress the urge to kill her and instead he would kiss her, he would offer his pardon and take her back with him, in her new home.

Her new home would be a basement without windows, without light.

He would rip her clothes and put some chains on her.

She would only allowed to be on all four like the bitch she was, she would have to eat without using her hands.

She would loved to bathe and to be clean, would have to shit and piss in one of the corners.

He would fuck her from behind, no more kisses and caresses for the whore, took her hard only for his satisfaction.

He would knock her up, not the one child she had wanted before finish her career, no she would whelp each year, without any help, like an animal, and he wouldn't miss a birth, he would be there to see her suffer.

He didn't have any idea what to do with the bastards, but he would make her believe he would kill them.

The stunning butterfly would become an ugly, sagging, deformed creature.

Her skin wouldn't drink the sun, her eyes wouldn't blaze anymore.

She would finally stop haunting him.

How long could she last?

She would lose her mind, but just before, he would wrap his hands around her pale throat and it would end.

And he would have paid his debt

She dreamed of him, every night.

Sometimes she dreamed that he stopped the men that had raped her, he would wrap her in his cloak and take her far away.

In the free cities, she would be his wife, have his little beautiful blond curled children, and he would love and respect her.

One day they would go back and he would be the Lord of the Rock...

She hated this dreams, because they couldn't become reality, in her bed she cried remembering that they did rape her and that she had lost their daughter.

Her favourite dreams were the one when he would find her.

He would beg of forgiveness, he would swear he didn't give the order, that he'd killed her tormentor and that he still wanted her.

He would kiss her and she would be warm again, he would love her and she would be clean again.

He would be there for her, he would protect her.

She would tell him about their Joy, their perfect little girl, and she would live with her daughter at Lannisport. Maybe they would even have another child, but she wouldn't insist about it, she would respect his wife and be happy with the time he could spend with her.

She didn't crave power anymore, she just wanted to be near him, to be loved by him. Because he was her dream, he was what she has wanted to be.

He was her knight and she wanted to lean on him, how she had loathed the foolish dreams of the girls, but now she ached to be his.

He would come, he loves her, her mind had been wrong, she hadn't listened to her heart. Her heart was sure. He loved her.

Sometimes she was afraid, after the men that had tainted her, would he still want to touch her?

She couldn't admit to herself that she was scared of his touch, would she feel the brutal hands of her tormentor on her?

That night she had a beautiful long dream, Jaime was her husband and they had three golden haired children…

She wept in her sleep, like every night since her rape, but those were tears of joy.

He would come for her, a Lannister always pays his debts.


End file.
